by Emily Schilling
EditorScents trigger memories much more than we may realize. After all, we can easily recognize people by their signature colognes. What little girl (or former little girl) doesn’t enjoy taking a whiff of the distinctive plastic smell of a just-out-of-the-package Barbie doll? Anyone who’s ever owned a new car reacts just as strongly over the potent smell of a just-off-the-lot auto.
As much as I love certain scents, though, I wouldn’t want to spritz them on my pulse points. Recently, I discovered perfume company Demeter which makes a huge array of unusual fragrances, some quite unpleasant! Example: Scents with names like “Dirt,” “Earthworm,” and “Dust.” Eww!
“Mildew” is described as “the smell of first turning my air conditioners on in May.” Why would anyone pay to smell like a long dormant air conditioner?
I spend a couple hours a week in a dressage barn watching my daughter ride a horse so I’m quite familiar with Demeter’s description of its fragrance “Stable:” “fresh hay and muck, sweet animal sweat … that’s as real as it gets.” Been there, smelled that, don’t need to smell it 24/7.
There are perfumes that smell like paint and turpentine (“the odorous ointment for bad paintings.” I love the description!) and Play Doh and crayons. Perfume labels proclaim “Suntan Lotion,” “Swimming Pool” and even “Steam Room.”
I love the smell of roses. Apparently, they’re a predominant scent in “Pruning Shears,” which also has a “lovely metallic tang.” I’m thinking I could pair that scent with “Dirt” and maybe even “Poison Ivy.” Yes, there’s a fragrance reminiscent of everyone’s favorite itch inducer. Makes me break out in hives just thinking about it.
There’s another company called Antiquity which creates scents based on the DNA of dead celebrities like Albert Einstein, Marilyn Monroe, Michael Jackson and Elvis. (The fragrances, though, don’t smell like the celebrities did, which is a good thing. Word has it that Elvis didn’t smell so great.) Antiquity’s scents were created using hair samples of these notables. I have no idea how DNA from hair can make enticing perfume, but it is an interesting gimmick.
Just for fun, I’ve pondered conducting a scientific experiment and mixing a bizarre scent like “Laundromat” with Albert Einstein’s DNA perfume. Who knows what that will smell like? Well, it can’t be any worse than “Mildew!”